Life Stuff, Parenting

Put Mom in bio or not?

Put Mom in bio or not?

When I updated my sites and general organization this weekend, I also wrote a quick TLDRfor my main site’s bio page. Quoted here for convenience:

The short story? A forty-something Norwegian by birth, Australian by choice, NZ resident who sounds American. True blue Libertarian, Master of English Literature, nearly finished a law degree, third culture child who never stays anywhere for long. Happily married. Gamer. Trying not to grow old. And beach lover. Crazy cat lady. Belvedere consumer.

I shared my amazement at my own cleverness on Facebook. This morning, a very astute lady I really like interacting with commented:

Friend’s comment:  And a mom?

Me:  I might add it back in. John says it’s sad when women feel they have to define themselves as that … and to work on defining myself with other qualities too. But it’s a huge part of who I am.

Now, leaving the birthing, raising, and loving of my two sons out of this was actually on purpose. But after a lot of thought.  I’ve always said mother of two before. And it’s not because they’re both grown ups now (18 and 20).

My husband always comments how sad it is that some women only define themselves as mothers. Or the title/role gets flung into situations where you would never hear journalists, presenters, or average people say, ‘father of two’.  “The woman, a mother of two, was seen yelling at the grocery store clerk.” “The case was assigned to the new ADA, a mother of 1.” 

He thinks women, me included, should be more assertive about their other qualities and skills, especially when the mother part doesn’t really have an effect on the context of the description. And I sort of agree. I love my boys. I am their mother. I cherish them and enjoy them and I spent 20 years of my life so far raising them. They are a joy. But I am so much more.

After my FB friend queried it though, I’ve decided to put it back in for my online presence. I mean, the topics here are completely likely to cover those two at some point.

I’m curious what other peoples’ opinions are on this.

One thought on “Put Mom in bio or not?

  1. What an interesting topic, this.

    I think it definetely belonged in the bio you wrote, that you are a mother of two.

    It says something about your whole being. Being a mother changes us and makes us look at things in much more profound ways (I think, at least)

    I do understand where your husband is coming from though; Especially the part about “mother of 1, 2 etc.” sometimes being added or mentioned in the news and where not. As if that is THE description to put on a woman, without anything else.

    And I hear what he is saying; that some women tend to define themselves as mothers without (and not before) adding anything else to their bio – but essentially, is that not what we are?

    I do not mean to “belitte” ‘everything else we accomplish’, but if you are standing at a cliff, and your child is hanging from it, as well as your carrier/achievements/future goals are hanging from it ,and you can only save one, then the choice is easy; we save our child.

    That does not mean, we are not sad to see the rest fall down, but I hope Im making sense. (Sorry English is not my native language)

    What I mean is, being a mother is a big part of me, and it comes first, but it does not “stand alone”; I have plenty of personality to offer 🙂

    Personally, when I read you were a mother, my respect for you was reinforced. That does not mean I have less respect for those that are not a mother, just, you managed to raise those two lovely looking young men in the picture, and that is amazing on its own, I think. And being a mother myself, it’s always so nice to come across someone else, who also games too 🙂

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